Wednesday Show Prep – Ultimate Meet Cute Story Edition

A woman in North Carolina decided to divorce her husband and run off the the DJ from their wedding. The woman was married to her previous husband for about a year, before she decided to give him the heave ho. She reconnected with the DJ as a friend, and then eventually decided he was marriage material. It must have been awkward when the DJ asked the now ex-husband for a Yelp review. If you’re that couple, is that a great meet-cute story or one that you avoid talking about at all costs?

The United States Army posted an online solicitation last week that wasn’t looking for warm bodies to meet recruiting quotas, but cold bodies for medical purposes. The Army is looking for fresh frozen cadavers from pelvis to the toe tip with sacrum, shoulders with arms and clavicles and various other body parts. So, if you ever thought about serving your country in the military, but didn’t quite get around to it, your cold dead hands can do so.

A middle-aged couple in Austria received about 25,000 ecstasy pills in the mail by mistake. They were expecting a package that was supposed to contain dresses bought online from a retailer in the Netherlands. Instead, the got a special delivery from Walter White. In other news, apparently ecstasy pills are available through mail order.

A Swiss tourist took LSD at Disneyland Paris, fell into a lake, then disappeared for hours before turning up naked more than a mile away. The Swiss man, who admitted to taking LSD for a bet, was barefoot “in the middle of the road” and “did not have a centimeter of clothes on him.” I think we’ve all had our fair share of morning like that.

Tuesday Show Prep – Rageaholics Anonymous Edition

The Florida Highway Patrol is searching for a driver that rammed a woman in her car multiple times after becoming upset it took her so long to dig for change at the toll booth. They know who did it because they were able to track the person down through their registration, but they haven’t been able to physically locate them yet. Ok, I’m sure it hasn’t been this bad because you’re a completely reasonable person, but what’s the most angry you’ve ever been while you were waiting in line for something?

According to a recent survey, seven percent of Americans believe chocolate milk comes from brown cows. Well, on the plus side, I think that’s actually fewer people who believe we didn’t land on the Moon.

Gig alert: Looking for a job? Are you a big fan of garlic bread? For $30 an hour for just one day, you get to spend the day in Brisbane, Australia eating “delicious garlic breads” and other products being tested by Domino’s Pizza. Of course, you’d have to live in Australia, where literally everything is trying to kill you.

Officers in a Massachusetts police department briefly turned into Amazon drivers after a stash of undelivered packages was found in a cemetery. There were about 20 packages or so, addressed to residents in their community, so police took it upon themselves to deliver them. They’ll also be investigating to find out how the packages ended up in the ultimate dead letter office to begin with.

Monday Show Prep – Messy Family Squabbles Edition

A teenager allegedly became incensed when she was denied additional tomatoes during a family dinner. Now she is facing criminal charges after allegedly assaulting family members who denied her said tomatoes. These days you normally expect family squabbles to erupt because of political disagreements. What’s the weirdest thing that’s ever happened at your dinner table?

Last week the Russian Navy lost an inflatable boat in the Arctic. It was attacked by a mother Walrus who was trying to defend her cubs. Goo goo g’joob.

Two women believed to be part of a national fraud ring were arrested on suspicion of posing as employees from the Internal Revenue Service in a phone scam that may have bilked several victims out of $900,000. Just a friendly reminder: The IRS will never call you.

Always remember that it’s a good idea to look into a house’s history before you decide to actually buy it. A Missouri family has been forced to abandoned their home after they discovered it was used as a meth lab six years ago. The family discovered this shady past when their unborn child tested positive for methamphetamine during routine blood tests. What’s the worst thing you’ve run into when you bought a house? Termites? Busted pipes? They moved the headstones but not the bodies?

Friday Show Prep – Making Lemonade Out Of Lemons Edition

A freak boating accident left a 14-year-old Manatee County boy with an anchor lodged in his skull, and doctors call his survival story “one in a million.” He’s in good spirits about it, saying that his friends now call him “Anchorman.” He’s kind of a big deal. People know him.

A British guy who lost his toe to frostbite donated it to that bar in the Yukon territory that puts them in drinks. He’s now the first person in the history of the bar to actually drink the beverage with his own toe in it. I have basically one goal in life: To leave it with all of the appendages I started it with. I like to think that if I did lose one, I’d like to think I’d approach the situation with that level of good humor. But I’d probably just be huddled in the fetal position for months if not years.

A woman in Colorado Springs thought it was a good idea to pick up an injured bobcat and put it in her car. The woman placed the mortally wounded wild cat in the backseat of her car – where her child was seated. Listen, I’m no expert, but putting a wild animal in the car with your child doesn’t seem like the greatest idea.

Speaking of kids in danger, a young student called 911 to report that his driver was drunk and had run red lights. Police later arrested the driver, Catherine Maccarone, 48, for driving under the influence. This was in Washington state, but I think it’s a good idea to mention their name because it takes a special kind of scumbag to drive a school bus drunk. Apparently she is normally very strict, but this time she let the kids sit wherever they wanted to and was also dropping some colorful metaphors.

Geek/CounterGeek – #141: The Best Space Movies of All Time

Misty Callahan and Keith Conrad talk about the recent spike of TV and movie reboots since they themselves rebooted the podcast.

In honor of the release of the movie Ad Astra, Misty and Keith compile a list of the best space movies of all time.

Plus, Misty and Keith have both made good progress on their projects and Keith is looking for a few good beta readers.

Listen to Geek/CounterGeek on the Radio Misfits Podcast Network

Thursday Show Prep – Rapid Unscheduled Descent Edition

A Delta Air Lines pilot had to make a rapid, controlled descent of nearly 30,000 feet after getting an alarm on an Atlanta flight. Delta told reporters that pilots learned of a depressurization issue. The pilots deployed oxygen masks for the passengers and made the “controlled descent.” What’s the scariest experience you’ve ever had on a flight? I ran into some severe turbulence on a flight, during which the flight attendant came on the PA system and started singing the theme to Gilligan’s Island. Plus, there was the time Dan Deibert took me up in a Cessna and my door wasn’t closed. That was interesting.

A Texas man is wanted by authorities after they said he filed for and completed a divorce from his wife without ever telling her. Apparently he forged documents and submitted false information to the court. He also allegedly submitted a waiver of service with a forged signature from a notary. She may have been surprised by it, but I would imagine at this point she’s probably better off without him.

A 19-year-old woman in Nebraska sparked an apartment fire by burning love letters from her ex in her bedroom. She used a butane torch to burn the letters and left some of them of the floor. She then went to another room to take a nap.

The people who live near Area 51 in Nevada are feeling overwhelmed by all of the tourists. They’re bracing for trouble after millions of people responded to the “Storm Area 51” Facebook post weeks ago. The U.S. Air Force has issued stern warnings for people not to approach the gates of the Nevada Test and Training Range, but people want to “see them aliens.” Let’s say just for the sake of argument there were aliens at Area 51, they’ve given them months of lead time to move them. Just saying.

Wednesday Show Prep – Missed Promotional Opportunity Edition

A California woman gave birth to a bouncing baby in the parking lot of her local Jack In The Box restaurant. This is a missed opportunity on her part. These stories pop up in the news periodically, and you know the company is going to view it as a marketing opportunity and give them all sorts of swag. So if you’re on the road to the hospital and it becomes obvious that you’re not going to make it all the way there, pick a place that will give you some better stuff. Give birth in the parking lot of a Best Buy, or a Telsa store. What would you pick?

A former Disney employee and his cousin are accused of stealing clothing and wigs from Disney rides and then selling them on the black market. I’m surprised this hasn’t happened before. You’d think there would be more disgruntled employees looking to make some money on a potentially illegal side hustle. My guess is most employees are terrified about getting on the bad side of Mr. Mouse.

Authorities in Texas are on the hunt for a bank robber they have dubbed the “Mummy Marauder.” The suspect wrapped white gauze around his face and arms, the FBI said. He also wore a wig and baseball cap. This is clearly Universal grasping at straws to jump start their Monster Cinematic Universe.

The most Iowa news story in history: Farmer Todd Mullis told authorities his wife was an accident saying she was impaled by a pitchfork-type of corn rake at their farm. Police doubted story. That might have had something to do with the fact that her body had six puncture wounds when the rake only had only four prongs. Maybe.

Monday Show Prep – Mutual of Keith’s Wild Kingdom Edition

A Missouri woman is fighting to keep her three emotional support monkeys. She and her doctor say her three emotional support monkeys are vital to her mental well-being, but her neighbors worry the primates are dangerous. says the monkeys would never hurt anyone, and they bring her so much comfort. In addition, her doctor provided a note saying the primates have been “prescribed” as emotional support animals. It’s amazing that there have been so many stories about odd support animals over the past few years, and I don’t know about you but I have never crossed paths with one. No Service Llamas, no Emotional Support Kangaroos. Nothing. How would you feel if a monkey in a service animal vest came to your neighborhood?

Just a friendly reminder that literally everything in Australia is trying to kill you: An Australian bike rider died Sunday after he veered off the road to avoid a swooping magpie. The unidentified 76-year-old man was cycling when a witness saw him careen into a fence post as he tried to avoid the bird.

Did you ever hear that joke about dreaming you were eating the world’s largest marshmallow and then woke up and couldn’t find your pillow? It actually happened to one woman. A California woman was deep asleep when she dreamed that she and her fiancé were on a high-speed train facing off with “bad guys” and during the fight Bobby told her she had to swallow her engagement ring to protect it from them. When she woke up, however, she saw that the ring was gone and immediately knew what had happened. Things took a turn when she could feel the ring in her stomach and it started becoming painful for her. So, rather than let the ring pass through her organs naturally, the doctor suggested that the safest way to retrieve her engagement ring would be to have an upper endoscopy to remove it.

Two men used a Target shopping cart to push a corpse through the streets of Harlem. A passerby on his way to the gym for his morning workout spotted the body because he noticed two feet with socks on protruding from the red carpet. The witness called the police, who found the unconscious and unresponsive man with signs of head trauma and wrapped in a cardboard box inside of the carpet.