Gabatron Morning Briefing – 4-15-16: The Balcony Is Full of Texting Millennials

My fellow humans, we gave it a good run and had some great moments, like the Renaissance, Pyramids, the Moon landing and of course the Jack Ryan novels. It’s all over though, society as we know it has come to an end. AMC movie theaters is considering allowing customers to text during movies. The CEO of AMC Theaters basically says that you simply can’t ask millennials to go two hours without checking their cell phone

Senator Mark Kirk has announced that he’ll be skipping the Republican Convention in Cleveland. He’ll be focusing 100% on the Senate race here in Illinois.

One Chicago alderman wants to deal with the city’s rat problem by letting packs of coyotes roam the streets. The city has been trapping them whenever people spot them, but under the proposal they would be allowed to go free unless a person is actually in danger. Of course then the city will be overrun by coyotes and we’ll have to bring in grizzly bears to help cull the coyote heard. Then the city will be full of grizzly bears and we’ll have to bring in Tyrannosaurus Rex’s to deal with the bear problem.

A towing bill of rights is quickly making it’s way through the Chicago City Council. In addition to *your* rights, towing companies would be required to have video of every tow.

Donald Trump may not be polling very well with women voters, especially in a head-to-head race with Hillary Clinton, but there’s one demographic he does extremely well with: Female porn stars. A group was interviewed about which candidate they’d like to see become POTUS and an amazing number of them said Trump.

Shock and awww: Video of 3 year old girl furious at the Sun for going down goes viral.

Keith Conrad got his first job in radio in Huntsville, Alabama the day after the 2000 Presidential election when he was a freshman in college. He’s produced radio shows in Huntsville, Milwaukee, WI, Atlanta, GA and finally back in his hometown of Chicago. Currently he lives in Chicago’s Edgewater neighborhood steps away from the Red Line. The train goes by so often you don’t even notice it. Keith has been dabbling in the Internet arts for a while now, in various roles both professional and just for fun.

One Comment

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.