Gabatron Morning Briefing – 2-19-16: Trumpal Infalibility

Pope Francis was asked about Donald Trump on his flight back from Mexico. He said that anyone who wants to build a border wall is not a Christian. Trump fired back that it’s disgraceful for a religious leader to question someone’s faith. Thankfully he didn’t call the elderly man with one lung a “low energy loser.” He also said that if ISIS attacks the Vatican, the Pope will wish Donald Trump was elected President.

Tales From The Library: The amnesty period is over and the Chicago Public Library has received $500,000 worth of returned materials. There were some real doozies in there, including a copy of Hermann Hesse’s “Steppenwolf” that’s been overdue since 1987. The borrower said they needed it for a class.

Meanwhile, Trump Tower in Chicago had a bit of a fire scare on Thursday. Hordes of firefighters had to rush the building because of a fire in a trash can on the 50th floor. Thankfully no one was injured, and the building did not have to be evacuated.

President Obama welcomed the Blackhawks to the White House on Thursday. He was happy to point out that before he was President, the Blackhawks had gone 50 years without a Stanley Cup and now they’ve won in three times.

Round two of Scalia Skip Outrage: Josh Earnest was asked about the President skipping Justice Scalia’s funeral, and pointed out that Obama will pay his respects at the Supreme Court building & Vice President Biden will go to the funeral. He pointed out that Biden had more of a personal relationship with Scalia, and the Vice President’s security footprint is a little less disruptive. He also criticized people for turning the funeral of a Supreme Court Justice into a “political cudgel.” Political Cudgel was fantastic at Lollapalooza last year.

A new version of Monopoly replaces paper money with bank cards; you swipe the card in a reader and load it with cash or spend it that way. The original will still be around, but this one appeals to millennials, who have probably never actually seen cash before.

Caitlyn Jenner says that she gets more flack for being a Republican than for being transgender. She was asked about why she is a Republican when Democrats seem to be so much more supportive of transgender issue, and said that just because you change your gender doesn’t mean you change your core values. (Let’s workshop this slogan… “Just because  you change your core plumbing, doesn’t mean you change your core values?”)

Piece Brewery and Pizzeria in Chicago and its owner Bill Jacobs are being sued by the publishers for the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo, among others. The crime? Hosting live-band karaoke without a license. In other news, apparently you need a license to have a band play a song in front of a group of drunken accountants while Mary from HR belts out Californication.

America’s newest hero: Captain Clay Higgins of the St. Landry Parrish Sheriff’s Office. He’s being called “the ‘John Wayne’ of Cajun country” after he posted a video calling out the Gremlins Gang of southern Louisiana.

A postal worker in New Jersey was trapped in his truck by a group of ravenous turkeys. He called his boss, who subsequently called 911. When officers arrived, they scared the turkeys away by walking toward them. The mail carrier was not injured during the incident, but the mail was a little later than usual.

Keith Conrad got his first job in radio in Huntsville, Alabama the day after the 2000 Presidential election when he was a freshman in college. He’s produced radio shows in Huntsville, Milwaukee, WI, Atlanta, GA and finally back in his hometown of Chicago. Currently he lives in Chicago’s Edgewater neighborhood steps away from the Red Line. The train goes by so often you don’t even notice it. Keith has been dabbling in the Internet arts for a while now, in various roles both professional and just for fun.

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