Gabatron Morning Briefing – 2-17-16: The Moment Society Jumped The Shark

A columnist asked readers to pinpoint the exact moment they think the good old days ended, the point when everything went to hell in a handbasket, when we collectively jumped the shark and those darned kids ruined everything. They’re newspaper readers, so it’s a lot of ’60s and ’70s moments — from the end of “Howdy Doody” in 1960 to the end of free airplane food.

Donald Trump weighed in on the bark heard ’round the world. He complained that she was actually praised for her canine imitation while he would have been ridiculed and called crazy if he had done something like that.

Trump also weighed in on the Scalia conspiracy theories on Michael Savage’s radio show. He said the reports that he was found with a pillow on his head are “unusual.”

President Obama told reporters on Tuesday that Donald Trump will not be President. He said the job of Commander-in-Chief is a little different from running a TV show. He also added that being president means actually knowing things about the world and he is confident America will make a “sensible choice in the end.”

Ben Carson says that only a “schizophrenic” Muslim could “love America.”

Jeb Bush decided it was a good idea to show his support for a Second Amendment by Tweeting a picture of a gun with his name engraved on it. The Internet immediately responded with hilarious mockery.

Ronda Rousey says that she had thoughts of suicide after her shocking UFC loss to Holly Holm. That’s taking your fighting title seriously. She said her boyfriend helped her through it.

A group of civil rights attorneys and others has filed a court petition seeking to force Anita Alvarez to hand over the prosecution in the Laquan McDonald shooting. They say she has demonstrated reluctance to charge police officers and has close ties to the police officers’ union, creating a “conflict of interest.” Anita Alvarez says the petition is politically motivated.

The Chicago Public Library really wants people to come back, despite the fact the compendium of human knowledge (and porn) is available at your fingertips. They’re offering amnesty from fines for anyone who wants to bring back an overdue book and get back in their good graces. They’ve released a series of funny videos letting people know about the amnesty.

The Chicago River will be dyed green for St. Patrick’s Day on March 12th. I feel obligated to ask: “If they can dye the river green for St. Patrick’s Day, why can’t they dye it blue the rest of the year?”

Awkward Media Moment: Cameras accidentally caught a news anchor in Hartford, Connecticut firing herself up before going on the air. When they came back from a live report early, viewers saw her confidently looking into the camera enthusiastically whispering “SHOW ME WHATCHA GOT!”

A family in Montana called 911 after they heard screams and gunfire coming from their neighbor’s house. Police surrounded the house and saw flashes of light and a lot of shouting. It turned out they were watching The Walking Dead on TV with their windows open.

Keith Conrad got his first job in radio in Huntsville, Alabama the day after the 2000 Presidential election when he was a freshman in college. He’s produced radio shows in Huntsville, Milwaukee, WI, Atlanta, GA and finally back in his hometown of Chicago. Currently he lives in Chicago’s Edgewater neighborhood steps away from the Red Line. The train goes by so often you don’t even notice it. Keith has been dabbling in the Internet arts for a while now, in various roles both professional and just for fun.

One Comment

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.