Gabatron Morning Briefing – 2-11-16: Skynet Just Got The Keys To Your Car

U.S. vehicle safety regulators have said the artificial intelligence system piloting a self-driving Google car could be considered the driver under federal law. So basically, if your self-driving car is in an accident, you won’t be on the hook. Google’s self-driving cars have an excellent record so far. Actually, all of their accidents have been caused by humans driving other cars. This is exactly how Skynet got started.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and former HP CEO Carly Fiorina both suspended their campaigns on Wednesday. Jim Gilmore remains.

Hillary Clinton has no idea what it means to “go viral.” She said it sounds “like some kind of disease.” In other news, Clinton also expressed confusion about why Bernie Sanders seems to be doing a better job of appealing to young voters.

Funny or Die has created the can’t-miss biography of Donald Trump. It’s called “Donald Trump’s The Art of The Deal: The Movie”, it’s an hour long and stars Johnny Depp as The Donald.

The hits keep coming for poor Jeb Bush. Bush was speaking at a rotary club in New Hampshire when the event hosts came up and kicked him off the podium.

The budget tightening continues here in Illinois. Now, in addition to being on your own when it comes to your license plate renewals,the state will also stop sending reminders about emissions testing. That’s required every other year. So you’ll have to remember that yourself. Good luck with that.

The Chicago Museum of Art has dressed up a one bedroom apartment in the city to look like Vincent Van Gogh’s bedroom. You can rent it on Airbnb for $10 a night. The listing is actually set up as if you are renting the room from Van Gough. Cutting your ear off is not required, but it is encouraged.

Someone dug up film footage of a ski-jump contest at Soldier Field from the 1930’s. The Chicago Ski Tournament was held in 1936-1938 and 1954, according to the Chicago History Museum. Ski jumpers landed on shaved ice, not snow.

An Alaska Airlines flight from Boston to San Diego was diverted to Denver after an intoxicated passenger became disruptive and threatened crew members. The pilot decided to put her down in Denver out of an “abundance of caution.”

Something to think about as Navy Pier prepares to open the new, much larger ferris wheel: A couple was arrested in Las Vegas for having sex during their ride on a 500 foot-tall ferris wheel on the strip. They told police they did not think anyone would be able to see them, but the surrounding cars got a great view and so did the security cameras in each of the cars.

If you’re heartbroken in Florida this Valentine’s Day, there’s a great new way to get out all of your feels and move on with your life.The Florida branch of Goodwill is encouraging people to donate all of the ex’s stuff on Valentine’s Day. Get rid of your emotional and physical baggage all at once.

Keith Conrad got his first job in radio in Huntsville, Alabama the day after the 2000 Presidential election when he was a freshman in college. He’s produced radio shows in Huntsville, Milwaukee, WI, Atlanta, GA and finally back in his hometown of Chicago. Currently he lives in Chicago’s Edgewater neighborhood steps away from the Red Line. The train goes by so often you don’t even notice it. Keith has been dabbling in the Internet arts for a while now, in various roles both professional and just for fun.