Gabatron Morning Briefing – 2-8-16: Rob Lowe Emerges From His Glass House To Throw Stones

Rob Lowe decided it was a good idea to take to Twitter immediately after the Super Bowl ended to criticize Cam Newton for walking out of the post-game press conference. Lowe said Newton was a bad example for kids, Twitter meanwhile said Lowe might himself be a bad example for kids since he was once famous for a rendezvous with a 16 year old.

Larycia Hawkins and Wheaton College have announced that they will be parting ways. Details of their agreement are confidential, but they took her off of administrative leave and the guy who called for her to be fired has issued an apology. So they probably worked out some sort of deal where she could go teach somewhere else. which worked out for everybody and one of the conditions was that he apologize to her.

This is going to make things interesting. Remember the explosion in the airplane in Somolia? It turns out it was a laptop that was rigged to explode in mid-air. The passengers lucked out because their flight was delayed, if it took off on time and was at cruising altitude with the cabin fully pressurized, it would be been catastrophic.

The US is apparently producing so much oil we are running out of places to store it. That would suggest gas prices will be low for a while. SUV’s for everyone!

15 cars broke through the ice on Lake Geneva over the weekend. Thankfully no one was hurt, but several of the cars were a total loss. People were parking their cars for the annual Winterfest in Lake Geneva. If your car covered by insurance if you drive it onto ice and it falls through? What brain stem decided it was a good idea to have people park on the ice to begin with?

Waterboarding is a little too pedestrian for Donald Trump. He told George Stephanopolous he wants to bring back something “tougher than waterboarding.” It will also be classier than waterboard, the device will be covered in gold leaf with the word “TRUMP” on the side.

Madeline Albright says that there’s a special place in Hell for “women who don’t help each other.” And if you’re planning on voting for Bernie Sanders, you’re not helping your sister out.

Women in Austin, Texas are being victimized by a serial foot-stomper. It happens to fast, and is so random that no one reported it, but apparently it’s been going on for weeks. So far dozens of women have been victimized and people are worried because they seem to be getting more violent.

An Alabama man was arrested for DUI… in a full clown costume. He also just happened to have a felony warrant out for his arrest. In the field of local live home entertainment, he’s a god.

Keith Conrad got his first job in radio in Huntsville, Alabama the day after the 2000 Presidential election when he was a freshman in college. He’s produced radio shows in Huntsville, Milwaukee, WI, Atlanta, GA and finally back in his hometown of Chicago. Currently he lives in Chicago’s Edgewater neighborhood steps away from the Red Line. The train goes by so often you don’t even notice it. Keith has been dabbling in the Internet arts for a while now, in various roles both professional and just for fun.

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