Gabatron Morning Briefing 1-30-15: Ease of Access

A company in Great Britain decided it was a good idea to implant their employees with RFID chips so they could open doors just by waving their hands at a scanner. The employees actually went for the idea. Would you be freaked out by the possibility of being chipped by your employer or would you be won over by the prospect of never having to worry about leaving your badge at home again?

The city of Chicago has signed a deal with T-Mobile, AT&T, Sprint and Verizon to install a 4G network to the entire CTA train system. So now we have Internet access on airplanes, and even when you’re on a subway underground. Basically there is absolutely no place on planet Earth where you can’t be reached instantaneously. I don’t think that’s progress, it’s just chaining us to our job. Of course, I wish I had a job to be chained too…

Scare in the Air: A Delta pilot went out and got locked out of the cockpit when the door malfunctioned. The co-pilot brought it in okay in an emergency landing in Las Vegas, which is where the plane was headed anyway. Delta pointed out that the co-pilot is trained to fly on their own, so the passengers were never in any danger.

Remember the Friends episode where Ross walked in on a couple bumping uglies in the library? Oregon State University upset after it was discovered that a former student had shot a 17-minute porn video in the school library. Let me repeat, this wasn’t a flashing incident or something like that, it was 17 minutes long. How does no one walk in on that?  What’s the most horrifying thing you’ve ever walked in on? For me it was probably Amy Jacobson and Dan Deibert dancing to the Spice Girls.

Another problem has emerged in the Wrigley Field renovation project here in Chicago: Thanks to the demolition and reconstruction of the bleachers this winter, the Wrigleyville neighborhood has been overrun with rats. If they think the rats are bad, wait until the project is done in May and the bleachers can hold 500 extra drunks per game.

…and finally, it’s round two of the epic battle between the Stone Park nuns and the new strip club in town. Now they say that Club Allure is a den of prostitution, because they allow lap dances. I realize they don’t like the close proximity of the establishment, and I don’t think anyone can blame them for that. But it is legal for them to be there, so I think it’s about time they moved on. Maybe they should take some time to talk to the strippers… I think I read about someone hanging out with people he didn’t like and were shunned by society. Who was that guy? Oh yeah, it was Jesus.

Keith Conrad got his first job in radio in Huntsville, Alabama the day after the 2000 Presidential election when he was a freshman in college. He’s produced radio shows in Huntsville, Milwaukee, WI, Atlanta, GA and finally back in his hometown of Chicago. Currently he lives in Chicago’s Edgewater neighborhood steps away from the Red Line. The train goes by so often you don’t even notice it. Keith has been dabbling in the Internet arts for a while now, in various roles both professional and just for fun.

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